Empty Bottle Evenings | Best Halloween SongsEmpty Bottle Evenings

Oct312015October 31, 2015October 31, 2015No Commentby Bake

Empty Bottle Evenings | Best Halloween Songs

Posted in Music

Happy Halloween from Empty Bottle Evenings! I hope that you enjoy your day carving pumpkins, dressing as a slutty cat or a flesh-eating Ben Carson, and trying but failing to pass out free candy because parents today are sadly afraid that every neighbor is either a pedophile or a serial killer and won’t let them leave the house. I, like most nights, will probably be staying in and drinking alone, but if you find yourself with the desire to toilet paper your own living room, spend way too long creating the “perfect” punch, and entertain some ungrateful guests then you will need some Halloween songs to slide into your music playlist. So as our unsolicited, razor-laced gift to you, here’s the top 10 Halloween Songs of All Time. Or less if we can’t find 10 that fit the holiday theme.

10 – “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett – Starting with a classic here and probably the only song recognizable by all ages. Yes, it’s predictable but it’s ridiculous enough that you should listen to it once a year. If this annual listening doesn’t come on Halloween you’re either trying too hard or you need help.

9 – “Halloweenhead” by Ryan Adams – This song is not really Halloween related despite its title and lyrics like “head full of tricks and treats, it leads me through the night time streets”, but as you may have noticed I am contractually obligated to write 50% of my posts about Adams so it stays on the list.

8- Anything By My Chemical Romance – You may not care for their music but lead singer Gerard Way went through the trouble of dressing like a Vampire for a decade so the least someone could do is put them on a list that no one will read. Plus this should be a good litmus test for if you’re acting too creepy. If the girls at the party are too young to recognize these songs from their teenage years, they are too young for you. Hey, I don’t care how hot of a jaguar she makes, step away.

7- Anything By AFI – Pretty much the same idea as the last one only I enjoy their music more and some of their songs, especially their albums intros, are legitimately creepy.

6- “Heads Will Roll” by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs – In case you like dancing at your parties instead of drinking in the corner and wondering why there is so much emo on the playlist.

5- “Scary Monsters and Super Creeps” by David Bowie – I don’t love this song, just can’t help but feel Bowie belongs on every Halloween party playlist. Maybe every party play list.

4- “Pet Semetary” by the Ramones – A legitimately decent song for the ’80s, but maybe be too soft to really alienate your guests. Try some Halloween songs from other punks bands like The Offspring’s “Beheaded” which is possibly just violent not Halloween related despite its appearance in Idle Hands. Or go with The Misfits “Halloween” which should get rid of most people in under 2 minutes.

3- “This is Halloween” from The Nightmare Before Christmas– Have to represent the video of someone who pays more for their electricity in October than I make in a year. Zombies, werewolves, ghosts, vampires, ax murderers? Nope, income inequality is the scariest thing.

2- “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” by Tracy Jordan- This was going to make the list just from the 10 second clip that was on 30 Rock years ago, but today I found out there is a full song version. Today can only get worse from here.

1- “Thriller” by Michael Jackson – Yeah, it’s cliché. But so is almost everything about Halloween. Just get drunk and enjoy it. Life’s too short. Especially for you…cue Vincent Price laugh….You’re going to die.