What the Hell Have I Been Listening to? | Recovering from My First Visit to the Rock N Roll Hall of FameEmpty Bottle Evenings

Aug202015August 20, 2015August 20, 2015No Commentby Bake

What the Hell Have I Been Listening to? | Recovering from My First Visit to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame

Posted in Music

It’s been about a month since I started my EBE sabbatical/road trip/bender and I’ve finally sobered up enough to get back to work. It may not always be pretty but gosh darnnit I’ve got myself a lot to say again. Disclaimer, I haven’t actually sobered up and most of this will be drunken, unintelligible crap. But at the very least I’m now in the safety of my home where I can listen to music in peace. You know, not a Wisconsin Red Roof Inn where the doormat to my room was replaced with a large red stain on the pavement that I just hoped to high hell was ketchup. Still, it was hard to write from the road when you are peering through the peephole of your hotel room clutching your souvenir baseball bat from earlier in your road trip.

As part of my journey I was determined to visit scenic Cleveland (well, it does have scenes?) to see the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. I know, I know, I’ve heard all the criticisms, how hokey museums like that can be, how the voting process is fucked, and how a lot of True Artists © have been excluded from induction while artists like ABBA are present. I won’t even try to argue why someone thinks “Dancing Queen” is more Rock N Roll than anything Lemmy ever did. Because shit, it’s not for me to decide. I tempered my expectations and said screw it, for $22 it couldn’t be that bad. I’ve spent more money on a Cleveland lap dance. And holy hell, have you seen the girls from Cleveland? Now limit the field to the ones willing to take off their clothes for money. Yikes. Sorry, drunk rambling again. The point is admission to the HOF is pocket change. If it really sucked I could always leave and go pick fights with people walking around with Lebron jerseys that were stitched back together and slightly charred.

So I went for it. Short Story: I fucking loved it. I spent over 6 hours there and would have stayed even longer if I could. Long Story: Cam is paying me by the word so buckle in. I really, really, really, really (fuck your couch, Cam) fucking loved it. The guitars in cases used by everyone from Jerry Garcia to Robbie Robertson to Stevie Ray Vaughn were a cool starting point but I lost my shit at the early influences section. It seemed the majority of the crowd kept passing by this exhibit but they were truly missing something important. Rock N Roll didn’t just show up out of thin air, or when Elvis Pressley starting shaking his hips, or when Nicki Minaj started twerking, or whenever. The Early Influences exhibit gave everyone there a chance to see all the early blues, country, folk, and gospel influences that need to be blended together. While the sound quality sometimes sucked, it was pretty cool to listen to everyone from Hank Williams to Mahalia Jackson to Howlin’ Wolf on the same kiosk. I commandeered those headphones and went through every artist there. I’ve heard almost all the names before, but it really solidified their influence hearing and reading about them all at the same time.

I only moved on so I could check out the cool shit from each genre like the instruments and clothes from Robert Johnson and Muddy Waters in the Blues section or the old songbooks from Bob Wills in the County, Folk, & Bluegrass section. I went through every historical time period and genre feeling grateful to remember this country is responsible for Sun Records and the Memphis Sound and the birthplace of Motown; Detroit’s most known genre has always ha a special place in my heart. I’d like to think in a previous life thar I led a group called Bake & the Bakettes, but it’s more likely that I was the janitor who lingered just long enough to hear the Temptations record a few tracks. Actually it’s more likely this is my first and only shitty life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get excited whenever I hear “Stop! In the Name of Love”. There were exhibits for nearly every historical trend: the Woodstock era, the late 70s beginnings of Punk and New Wave, an underrepresented section on metal, and of course, grunge, where I think I watched the mini-doc that they had playing on a loop 4 or 5 times. I lived through that era but I think I was too young to realize there were bands other than Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains that contributed. Yes, I am saying that Mudhoney wasn’t just a band created for the Chris Farley movie “Black Sheep”.

I think if it was just the same setup through the museum I would have gotten bored quicker, but after checking out the rock over history section and skimming by a few more spots displaying the ridiculous clothing these guys wore I found more things of interest to me. Side note: I love Jimi Hendrix but how the fuck did he get away with the stuff he wore on stage and still be considered cool? Jagger (below) on the other hand inspired generations after generations of men into wearing pink jumpsuits. Alright, well fuck you, but it should have happened. Anyway, I was able to check out some weird Pink Floyd shit and a tribute to Music Videos that tried to give the majority in attendance a seizure. Also, its rapid fire of imagery and powerful words had a little bit of a mind-control feel to it. It’s actually the real reason why I am writing such a glowing review of this place.

In all honesty, I just loved everything they threw at me. I watched a 45 minute documentary on the music of the 70s. I read every goddamn word that had up there about Les Paul and his tinkering with guitars when he was twelve even though I can barely play 3 chords, because shit, the man deserves that respect. Whether it was the rock legends who played the music, recorded it, distributed it, or made it sound better over time, there was a real appreciation there for everything that comprises the sounds over the last century that make my life better in almost every way. After looking at the names of the artists whom had actually been inducted, some of them multiple times (alright Clapton, I get you, but did anyone really care about Cream that much?), I found my favorite thing at the the Hall of Fame. There were listening kiosks that had all the songs of the artists that were inducted. What’s that? You forgot what Lou Reed sounds like? Here check out his entire back catalog. Not sure if Ringo had any other songs other than “Yellow Submarine”? Put on some nice headphones and relax for awhile. I spent an hour listening to whatever I thought of at the time and left determined to reexamine every gap in my rock n roll knowledge.

Even the artists that didn’t get the full room treatment like The Beatles or the Rolling Stones, or for some fucking reason Paul Simon (sorry Cam) stuck with me. Aren’t The Doors (who got a locker sized display) better than most of the weird rock that people strive for today, or did I just judge them too harshly in response to every fuckhead buying a Jim Morrison poster in college their first week even though they know more about his deification habits than his music? I know I’ve heard too many Zeppelin songs too many times in my life, but what about the 60 or so songs they don’t play on classic rock every day? Fuck, even U2 put out stuff in the ’80s that is much better than the shit that comes out today that wants to sound like it was created in the ’80s. The Hall of Fame actually won me over a little too much. I spent the rest of my trip refusing to listen to anything recorded before 2000. Nothing new compared to what I had heard. I mean know I’m old but I don’t think I have enough age behind me to say there will never be another Sam Cooke . The man died two decades before I was even born! Was I brain washed?

It took me a little awhile for perspective to sink in that while some of these pioneers created great music that being the first doesn’t mean it’s the end. Hell, the HOF had a section that tried to show just that; about how legends continue to inspire other newer legends like Arthur Crudup to Elvis, Dylan to Springsteen, and Hendrix to Pearl Jam (with the expected pairing of audio clips of “Little Wing” and “Yellow Ledbetter”). New artists don’t have to compete, they can be excellent too, even if they are borrowing from the past. If you’re a young musicians you should be inspired to create new sounds, not just putting everything else on a pedestal. Unlike going to Cooperstown where you can see Ted Williams’ old jersey and know that at age 10 you’ll never have the talent to be the next greatest baseball player, you can go to Cleveland and know that there’s enough room to carve out your own spot playing something good. Even in the world of Tay fucking Sway, there is real rock music to be enjoyed. I promise.

To be honest, the most inspirational thing that I saw there was from the new Green Day exhibit. I think that singer/guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong would admit himself that being enshrined in the HOF means he is surrounded by musicians way more talented than himself. But it doesn’t matter. On display now in Cleveland is a homework assignment he wrote when he was 9 years old. It reads: “When I grow up I want to have a band that can play rock and roll. We will start out at the age of fifteen. Then it will be bigger and bigger. At the age of 20 we will have great big amplifiers and guitars. At age 29 we will go to big time. We’ll play for a lot of people ” Armstrong continues (below) but I’m taken back by the idea that this kid knew what he was going to do with his life 20 years earlier than I did AND he accomplished it even quicker than he expected as an optimistic nine year old. He adds at the bottom of this essay how if it doesn’t work as a musician he’ll play football or something, really he doesn’t seem to give a shit. He knew he wanted to play music and he fucking did it. Personally, I can’t play a lick, but I can make sure that I’m listening to every motherfucker who is putting something out there for us to listen to. Whether they are a little kid or a living legend, I’m going to give it a shot. And if I find anything good, I’ll do my best to pass it along.